Epigraph
0| Prologue
1| Her First Love
2| Proposal
3| Grand Wedding
4| My Wedding Life
5| His First Love
6| They Don't Really Hate Each Other
7| He Wants To Do What
8| Pretending To Love Him Was Not That Hard
9| Road To Love
10| Too Close For Comfort
11| His Cute Nurse
12| He Is A Big Tease
13| He Cares Now When He Knows I Can't?
14| Silent Rejection Hurts Even More
15| My Little Dreams
16| His Feelings Are So Confusing
17| His Friendship Is All I Have
18| He Loves Cuddling?
19| I Can Never Dress Like A Girl
20| I Am What?
21| Embarassing And Awkward Situations
22| Date Plan Gone To Hell
23| Compromising Situations
24| Hot Arguments And Cool Answers
25| Some Wise Decisions
26| Jealous Arguments And Broken Hearts
27| When Fake Turned Into Something Much More Real
28| Dangerous Game
29| Heart Want What It Wants
30| Was Loving You A Better Idea
31| Reasons We Are Far Apart
32| Your Name
33| Hurt And Confort
34| Most Natural Thing To Do
35| Unexpected Encounters
36| Don't Move
37| You Think I'm A Man?
38| Old Friends Reunion
39| Mission Mia
40| I Hate You!
41| His Passion And Desire
42| Do You Love Me?
43| Some Old Secrets
44| Some Shocking Revealations
45| Dangerous Territory
46| Crazy Confessions
47| Love The One Who Loves You Back
48| You Can't Just Fall Out Of Love
49| You Can't Run Away From Your Past
50| It's Not Easy To Love Someone...Back
46| Crazy Confessions
Emily's pov:

Pouring two cups of coffee quickly, I walked towards Jake, who was sitting on drawing room, in heavy mood.

"Here!" I handed him a mug of coffee before sitting in front of him, crossing my legs.

"So... How come you're here? So early in the morning!?"

Jake didn't respond, instead he took one sip of his coffee, avoiding my gaze and perhaps, ignoring my logical question ever, as well.

"Jake!? You didn't answer me. And now when I am thinking about it, where is...." I looked all around the room, before fixing my eyes on Jake, "Mia?"

He still didn't look at me.

My natural feminine and partial tomboy instincts kicked my butt continuosly, telling me something indeed had gone wrong, the reason this dog named Jake was so early in my house, the one who used to bite off anyone's head whoever dared to drag off his slim ass of his comfy bed this morning.

"Jake!? I asked you a question!?"

Still no response.

I tapped my foot in annoyance, drilling a large imaginary hole in the blue carpet.

"Jake!!?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

He jumped right from his spot, now staring at me.

"Jake? Did you have a fight with Mia? Again? Like seriously!? Oh fuck, when the hell will two of you actually learn to stand each other!? You both are fucking adults, for god's sake, then why don't you ever behave as one, you stupid leacehrous beetle crawling on a rotten spinach in a flooded street!"

"Emily-"

"No! I dont want to hear any of your stupid excuses! If you hate Mia that much, then why don't you stop hanging out with her-"

"Listen-"

"She never thought bad of you, Jake! Never! She always took your side, no matter how much you did wrong! Even in those crazy situations, where she was supposed to be hating you, she never hated you actually-"

"I am-"

"Don't you dare, you muddy earthworm crushed under leaves-"

"Emily, will you calm down for God's sake!"

"If you two fight again, don't you dare to come crawling like a snake on my door otherwise I'll stuff both of you under my washroom's sewer-"

"Listen to me for a minute, will you-"

"No-"

"Calm down your fucking familiar fat ass, Emily!"

"You two will- Well, what did you say!? Come again?"

"I asked you to calm down for a second!"

I raised my eyebrows, before nodding my head. Taking out paper fan from my purse, I fanned my face frantically ,"I am fine! Totally fine! Never been better! You can continue saying what you were going to tell me!" I waved my hand in front of Jake, urging him to continue.

Jake took a long relaxing sigh before looking at me completely, perhaps judging my expression. "I can't find Mia"

I choked on my spit which fell proudly on my coffee. "What!?"

"Yeah... I don't know anything but now I can't find Mia-"

"What do you mean you can't find Mia!? Weren't you the one she went out in the car with, last time I saw her? I messaged her asking for her well being but she didn't reply! I thought she was with you and that's why I didn't bother to check out on her because no matter you're such a sick-jerk at times, I knew you would take care of her but-"

"I know. I know, Emily! But we had this little fight in my car after I had decided to take her to my grandfather's farmhouse. We reached safely there and she went out for a little walk in the city as well, but then..." Jake stopped talking, his eyes bearing confused expression.

I waited for him to continue.

"And then Jake?"

"Well I don't remember the rest"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean you don't remember the rest!? Weren't you the one who took her to the farmhouse-'

"Yes. But I can't remember the rest of it no matter how much I try, Emily. I drank that day so-"

"You drank!? What the fucking hell happened that day that you needed to drink so badly Jake!? Did you lose your parents or your girlfriend died in a plane crash that day? Or you lost your greatest fortunes in a lottery or" I tucked lock of my hair behind my ears and glared at Jake,"Or Jenny fell over the roof and some stupid car ran over it!?"

"No! Don't curse my Jenny! Both of my parents are well and I don't have girlfriend, Emily!", he yelled, shifting in his position a little,"Well it wasn't that I wanted to drink! I just felt like drinking so I drank but when I woke up in the morning, my head was aching like hell and.....I couldn't find Mia! I searched in all the rooms and asked for her everywhere where she could be found but....I couldn't....."

Jake didn't look at me, but continued to sip on his cold coffee.

I sighed in frustration, kicking the table in frustration.

"Try to remember Jake! Try to remember what you and Mia talked about before she left you without notice!"

Jake took a long breath. "I tried, Emily! A lot but I still can't remember a thing!"

"Did you hit her!?"

His eyes widened to saucers, "What-"

"I am just saying it, you know, it's totally hypothetical though but we do unexpected things when we get drunk and some of those things may include violence, abuse, torture, exploitation, rape, temporary memory loss... "I trailed off, finding Jake's reactions quite interesting for my own taste.

Jake looked at me with shock and horror,"What the fuck-" he took a long breath, perhaps to calm himself,"Do you seriously think I would hit...Mia? Really? Do you think so bad of me, Emily!? I mean I saved her from that fucking piece of shit James who treated her like whore only to beat her to pulp later!? Why would I do...."he took another long breath, his fingers forming into fists,"I can't remember anything but I know very well that I didn't..hit..Mia!"

Jake completed the sentence, his voice croaking in the end as if he were tasting poison in his own words.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, "Hmm...it's all futile attempt to try anything then!"

Thinking of some better options and neglecting them all with a harsh conclusions, I came to the conclusion that indeed something might have gone wrong otherwise Mia wasn't the girl to leave like Cinderella in the middle of the night, especially when her dreamy Prince was most willing to keep her with him.

"What did you dream of, Jake!? Do you remember your dreams?"

Jake shook his head, "No, I don't remember any of it either"

"I told you specifically to eat more mature almonds you idiot! You and your stupid brain will win the awards of the "I-am-the-most-manly-fucking-loser-of-the-zoo" soon if you keep living your-"

"It's not my fault that I can't remember it but.."he stopped for a second, thinking about something,"I do remember something though, it's kinda blurry, vague and..."

Immediately, faint blush adorned Jake's handsome face, and he averted his gaze somewhere else, avoiding my eyes.

"And? Complete your sentence, Jake! Was it about Mia!?"

Jake coughed a little and nodded. "Yes"

"So what about her then!? Tell me in detail, will you!?"

"Well.. It's not appropriate to tell you this but since it's all a dream then I think it wouldn't be so bad to tell you after all..."

I scooted closer to him, my ears transforming into a advanced elephant ones, rolling like a carpet on a floor.

"So...what's that dream about then!?"

"It's too personal to tell anyone, Emily!"

I ran towards him in annoyance, grabbing his collar and pulling him up by it," Don't you dare to ditch me now, I am telling you I can't tolerate all this curiousity thing these girls have and now it's itching my intestines to know what the hell happened in that fucking graphical dream of yours!"

Jake raised his hands in defence,"Well, you know.... it wasn't just some ordinary dream, it was..." He stared deeply into my eyes to press his words "It was that type of dream"

I stared back into his eyes, realisation dawning on me, "Oh! That type of dream! I understand very well!"

I nodded and went back to my seat, looking straight ahead at Jake and crossing my legs. "So..you know just for the sake of extra information and I swear I will keep it purely confidential though you never know when those lips of mine started to dysfunction but still....what type of that did you exactly dream about, Jake!?"

Jake sighed loudly before glaring hotly at me, running his fingers into his hairs in frustration. "It was a dirty dream, Emily!"

"What the- really! Wow congratulations," Jake shot a dangerous angry look at me, "I mean I am so sorry for your loss dear, but still what's so bad about telling your dream to me? I mean I know both you and Mia so I-"

"I am not telling you anything!"

"I am totally fine with it you know!"

"That's good then-"

"Oh please, you're behaving like an innocent boy now!? As if you never saw nude women ever in your life! But still, it's not that you saw Mia naked or anything..."I trailed off seeing Jake's cheeks burning flames now as he shifted uncomrfotably in his position.

"Oh my god, you saw her naked! How! When? Why!?"

"Shut it up, okay! It was a long time ago..."

I snaked my neck further towards him. "So what if it was ages ago! Who cares anyway but still, can you tell me the outline of your story... " I trailed off, blowing hot air on my nails.

Jake hesitated. "Well......it was when I went to her home to pick her up for late morning classes of our college and she was busy...showering... And I needed to pee badly so I pushed my way to her washroom not knowing she was there and so...purely by natural accident though I am telling you...I might have ended seeing more than she would ever let me see so...."

I grinned wickedly, "These type of accidents never happen with me though!"

"I told you it was an accident! A pure coincidental and embarrasing plus humiliating accident!"

In frustration, Jake walked towards the kitchen and opened the fridge to take out a water bottle.

"Aww. Our bold playboy who is habitual of fucking almost everyday, was flustered by seeing a simple country girl, showering in her bathroom! Wow! Thats some juicy stuff I am hearing for the first time!"

"I wasn't flustered if you must know! I was just surprised! Surprised is the word you should be looking for to judge my reaction at that time!"

He stuffed water bottle in his mouth, pouring cold water down his throat to ease up his dilemma.

"So...did you like what you see then!?"

Jake spilled half of the water back into
his bottle, rest flowing from his mouth before glaring at me.

Wiping his mouth quickly, he walked towards me."What type of fucking stupid question was that!?"

I shrugged. "You are a man so I just wanted to ask your opinion I guess!"

"Why does my opinion start to matter in these type of questions!?"

"If only you knew, you stupid tortured grasshopper!" I muttered to myself, looking at the floor.

"Tell me one thing Jake and it's really important!"

"Now what -"

"Do you really hate Mia that much!?I mean she is beautiful, sweet, caring, sometimes feisty, but you know her better than me. She had been friends with you for more than ten years and I met her just some years ago but still, I think there is nothing to hate about her as much as I know her!"

Jake hesitated a little. "I don't really hate her you know!"

"So... do you like her then!?"

"I.. maybe... I don't know... cause it's not really true but still it's not totally wrong either and so if you say it that way...then you aren't wrong as well but I can't say anything for sure so well..I ur..I suppose I should...-"

"Jake, do you like Mia or not!?"

"I do. A lot! Maybe. I don't know! But yeah! I like her company, I like to spend my time with her... and I like it when she is willing to spend all time of her precious day with me and I.... also like it when she worries for me whenever I fall sick and whenever...... I am late to my home, I like it ....very much that she waits for me in her own home, standing on her terrace to wait for me till I get home safely...and I like to pick these little immature fights with her... and well there's more but still I don't know if I like her or not! You tell me, Emily! What's a person supposed to feel if he happnes to like someone!?

"What did you feel when you learned that she was getting married!?"

"Don't even ask me that! I felt creepy and horrible! Like I never knew anything better of Mia from the start! I mean to say that it never crossed my mind that she was supposed to marry someone in the near future so when I knew she was marrying James, I started to compare myself with that piece of shit, calculating to myself ...why I wasn't the one whom she could have chosen to spend her life with!? And then,....I came to a conclusion that I was willing to change my lifestyle, living according to her expectations if only she could ever call off her wedding somehow!"

My mouth opened in awe to listen to the words of pure unexpected truth, coming from our infamous egoistic playboy, our one and only, Jake Anderson.

If only Mia were here to listen all this!

She would have died of intense heart attack, you flaming furry joke of an animal!

I cleared my throat loudly, hiding my happines and excitement.

"You know you certainly like her then, Jake! It doesn't take much of a genius brains to detect your feelings for Mia!"

Jake sat still and montionless in his position for minutes, not daring to look at me. I waited for him to speak but he didn't utter a word, for a moment I thought if he even knew he came to my house or he was just sleepwalking all this time.

"Jake!?"

No response.

"Jake!? Are you okay?!"

He still was staring at the space, not willing to respond.

"Jake!? Jake!?" I shook his shoulders violently when finally he looked at me, his eyes bearing shocked expression.

"Emily, what do I do now?"

"What-"

"Did I do wrong to both of us if I didn't know I liked Mia all along!?"

"No-"

"Did I commit a huge mistake if I didn't tell her I liked her!?"

He gripped his head, running his fingers along his forehead. "What the hell should I do now!? She isn't responding to my calls and texts, I am fucking worried for her, Emily! She would be safe right? Oh god, I want to see her face so badly-"

"Jake, listen to me, will you!" I gripped his shoulders, jerking him off.

"I don't know anymore! Will Mia reject me if I...tell her about my...feelings for her?"

"Hell! No way! It's a ancient yes from her side for a long time!" Jake looked at me in confusion, and I cleared my throat nervously "Or you never know what she actually wants! I mean your feelings can be rejected brutally and totally! You can cry on my shoulder! I am here for you, Jake! I will knock some better sense into her dinosaur skull if she dares to reject a person like you!"

I patted her head like a baby, to fake comfort him while my mind wondered where Mia could be and what had happened between her and Jake when he was drunk.

"Thank you so much for supporting me, Emily! But still Mia-"

"Don't worry, Jake! I will try to reach her! I am sure she's just gone for some time, maybe to complete something important-"

"But still she should've informed any of us before going anywhere-"

"Be at ease, Jake! I am sure she'll be fine. I will contact her soon to check so don't you worry!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was hard to reach Mia since she wasn't picking up my phone or replying to my texts and I was getting worried for her.

I contacted the mobile company to put her mobile number on surveillance using my late father's security business card and they wanted some time to tell me the exact location of Mia.

"So what did the two of you talk about?!"

Turning around, I saw Eric drinking water from the fridge and he placed food on the table, everything steaming hot and ready. I smelled the aroma of his handmade dishes, opening lid of the containers to admire his cooking.

"You know you didn't have to do all that! I mean you came just yesterday so it makes me a villain if you would continue to cook-"

"Oh shut up already! You and your stupid hero-villain things will never cease to eat my brains off! Now if you have talked enough already then how about you come and eat with your old friend!?"

I smiled at his words and he spread his arms in front of me. "Here! I think I really missed your hugs!"

Shaking my head at his immaturity, I hugged him tightly, my arms wrapped around his waist and my head resting on his chest.

"You married without telling me, Emily!?"

He broke the hug to look at me properly. I grinned at him, his fingers lifted my hand and he ran his index finger over my wedding ring which shone brightly and as beautifully as ever.

"Well. Look, look who's talking! I mean you were the one who left me and Edward to study abroad so I am not the only one at fault actually!"

"But still! I never knew Edward would realise his feelings for you this early! I always thought he would act all oblivious jerk towards you until the end but he proved to be the wiser one in the end after all!"

I sighed softly, taking my seat and serving myself a plate. I started to feed myself, eating with pure delicacy.

I didn't find it necessary to explain to Eric how much fake our wedding was and how much of a stupid best friend I was to marry Edward just because he wanted to keep his five year long relationship with Eric's girlfriend Lisa Williams!

We just had to keep our marriage for two years, so why go and stuff this truth on every other person's face that we weren't married for real!

Besides, everyone was happy this way, like the way Edward explained everything to me the day he prosposed me for this marriage!

And from now on, I would also try to be happy, just like Edward wanted me to be!

"Mmm.. This fried omurice is the best I have ever eaten I am telling you!" I moaned in my mouth, taking some ketchup in my spoon and swirling my fork in the heaps of baked tortillas stuffed with chicken pasta.

I took another bite of my bread, chewing it with my utmost attention, my mind going frenzy thinking where Mia was and why she wasn't responding to my calls.

"By the way, I didn't mean to be nosy you know but is that Lara girl really your friend!?"

I snapped out of my reverie, looking at Eric and blinked twice, registering his question some seconds late.

"Yeah! Yeah! You mean Lara? We are college friends! We know each other very well, and she came here to congratulate me on my wedding as she coudn't attend it due to her professional reasons!"

"Then why did she run after seeing me on the door?"

Oh crap!

"Oh right! She didn't mean to run but you know, she is extremely shy when it comes to men, the reason she is a celibate! A total celibate I am telling you!"

Seriously Emily, celibate? Have you lost all your fucking common sense in a lottery or have you been pretending to be some intelligent potato all this time!?

Eric coughed violently. "Lara's a celibate!?"

I nodded my head quickly, not daring to look him in the eyes. Eric sighed believed in my lie, as he continued to eat his share.

"Who is this Lisa, Eric!?"

Eric stopped eating and looked at me, bearing a surprised expression.

"And don't you dare to play all ignorant with me otherwise I will cut you like celery and cabbage and make your spicy stew right now!"

Eric chuckled. "No I wasn't going to ignore your question but still" He briefly glanced at me, and I crossed my arms across my chest to show him my determination "Are you really not going to let me get away with this question, Emily!?"

"No! Never! Now answer fast! Audience here wants to hear who is this Lisa girl anyway!?"

Eric sighed in disappointment, drinking a glass of water before wiping his face with a napkin.

"Lisa was my first girlfriend"

I tried to fake gasp but ended up choking on my glass of water instead.

"And!?"

Eric observed my reaction carefully. "And she was my last one too"

This time I genuinely gasped loudly, my mouth open ajar to stare at him.

"Really!? But why didn't you ever tell me that you used to have a girlfriend!!?"

"Emily, I didn't want to make her my girlfriend in the first place! She seemed too innocent and fragile for someone hard, tough and bad boy like me but..."

"But!?"

"But I ended up proposing to her and to my utter surprise, she accepted-"

"Wait! Why did you propose to her!? Did you like Lisa back then?

"No, Emily I didn't like Lisa. I just proposed to her for my own reasons-"

"What were your stupid fucking immature reasons, you dirty lizard sitting on a toilet seat-

"which, unfortunately, I can't tell you!"

"Don't you "unfortunately" me!"

Eric ignored my protests. "And then we started dating, we used to hang out almost everyday, at first she wasn't willing to accept me but then she grew habitual to my presence."

I glared at him. "So did you find her beautiful that's why you proposed to her? You were just attracted-"

"Yes, Emily she was beautiful, much beautiful in her own way but I took advantage of her innocence and did wrong to her that's why that guilt of justice keeps eating me from inside. I tried to find her whereabouts many times with the help of my associates and sources but never found a single thing about her, in fact I came here two days ago only to go and search for her myself but she changed her house and the landlord couldn't give me much information about her current address."

That's because Lisa isn't Lisa anymore! She is Lara Williams now!

"But why do you want to find her so badly? I meant to say that if you were the one who did something wrong to her then don't you think you should stay away from her... I mean she might press charges against you..." I trailed off, trying to extract my answers in a most vague way as possible.

"I don't care! I am ready to face any punishment she might give me because I know I am the one at absolute fault here! But I couldn't find her until now and I just want to meet and apologize to her properly-"

Just then, his phone vibrated soundly on the glass of dining table. Eric glanced over his phone before looking at me.

"I need to take this call"

I nodded. Eric returned few minutes later, grabbing his coat quickly and putting on his shoes.

"I am sorry Emliy but I would'nt be able to do dishes with you now! I really wanted to spend some time with you but I had this urgent work to do soon-"

I stood up from my chair abruptly,"Oh no. I don't mind a bit, Eric. Besides you are here for permanent now so we can talk like old days whenever you want!"

"But I missed you and Edward so much!"

"And I missed you too, my boy!"

My cell vibrated in my jeans and I took my phone out to see Edward calling me. Instantly my cheeks flushed red to remember that heated encounter against the wall which we shared this morning.

I didn't take the call though, accompanying Eric outside the house
towards his car.

My phone vibrated yet again and this time I needed to take the call otherwise I had no doubt Edward would come here hurriedly, leaving his company or any of his important meetings whatsoever only to see why the hell I wasn't taking his calls.

"Yes, Ed..ward!?" I stuttered, my mind calculating some good words to say to Edward without making it too uncomfortable for both of us.

"Have you eaten, Lily!?"

"Yes, I finished my lunch. Eric made it and it was so delicious, he still had his chef skills left in his blood! And you!? Did you eat!?"

Man, this was really awkward! Since when do we start to have this 'food' conversation in our calls!

Since today, you dumb bamboo!

"Oh yes, I called you to inform you I'll be late today as I need to attend this company dinner urgently!"

"Okay, I understand very well! Take your time and I'll be fine here-"

"Were you with Eric all this time!?"

"No! Actually Jake also came today so I talked to him about his stuff-"

"So you were with Jake all this time then!?"

"No! He left many hours ago and then I had my lunch with Eric so-"

"So you were, after all, with Eric, right?"

"Yes, Edward I was! Eric made both of us lunch and we hanged out for some hours and we also talked a lot about old days but seriously what's with you these days? You get worked up for nothing, Edward! Eric is my friend just as you are! I don't discriminate between you two! You two are same to me and I try my best to treat you all equally!"

"Equally Huh? I understand then-"

"I didn't mean it that way, of course you are first-"

"I told you I understand very well, enjoy your time to the fullest with him! Bye Emily!"

Edward hanged up while I stared at my phone in annoyance.

What's with him and his stupid "I understand shit!" Trying to sound so authoritative, you bull!

"What happened!? Bubbly Hubby-chubby called!?" Eric said, chuckling to himself.

I waved my hand, "Yes. He said he'd be late!"

"Well I'll be late too, Emily! I want my bear hug too!" Eric slurred, making puppy face.

"I didn't hug Edward though for being late!"

"I don't mind being the first one to be hugged by you, Lily!" Eric tried to mimick Edward, failing to do so miserably.

I laughed at his choice of words. We shared a quick hug before Eric started his car and drove frantically between the streets, leaving me behind to wonder what was the reason of his sudden exit, just after a few days of his arrival.

----------------------------------------------------------

Clock ticked to 12'O clock and still there were no calls or texts from Edward. It had been raining continously for two hours now and I couldn't help but get worried for Edward as each second of my restless night passed one by one. I paced my living room in anxiety, calling Edward once again but he didn't pick up.

Atleast pickup my phone you idiot! In nervousness, I started to chew my nails quickly while starting TV to distract my mind somewhere else but no series, programs or TV show was able to stop me from glancing anxiously at the wall clock and then towards the window.

Rose had returned this afternoon, fully tired and exhausted but still she had the decency left to slap my words on my own face cleverly.

**********

"Where were you all night, Rose!?"I asked Rose, who was striding towards her room without looking at me.

She stretched her arms in some unwomanly fashion, ignoring my question.

"Don't do Yoga and answer my bloody question fast, Rose! You didn't call me whole night and what's with you and your sudden arrogant attitude!? Where were you yesterday night!?"

"Searching" Rose answered, popping fresh black grapes in her mouth.

"Searching for what, exactly!?" I asked, putting my hands on table in orderly fashion.

"For my common sense, just like you told me earlier to find it!"

"What's that supposed-"

"I hope you don't mind me borrowing your fruits for some time! I need to have my share of nutrients as well!"

Rose picked up whole basket of fruits from dining table and started to climb stairs. "And, by the way, I coudn't find my common sense today. It seems too much of a mysterious object to me so maybe I need to go search for it tomorrow again!"

She left for her room before I could even ask her where Michael was who went after her in such a hurry, yesterday night.

What the hell is going on in her mind!? Why doesn't she tell me anything!?

I hope she didn't kill anyone and fled here from New York in hurry to hide her crimes, right!?

But where is that rotten corpse anyway?

Oh no, my Rose would never kill anyone! She isn't like that!

**********

Loud reverberation of thunder broke my line of thoughts and I ran towards the window to realise it still hadn't stopped raining. Cold drops of rain splattered my face and chilling breeze hugged my features just as I opened my window to peek at the weather.

Glancing at my phone, I threw it annoyingly on sofa after seeing no calls or replies from Edward. I sat beside the window, my eyes glued on the muddy road, my eyelids dropping heavily from sleep.

A loud knock on the door woke me up abruptly from my short nap and I rushed towards the door, turning the knob and quickly opening the door.

"Edward! Where the hell were you, you stupid moron! Why the hell you were so-"

I stopped blabbering to see Edward slumped lazily on Michael's shoulder while Michael struggled slightly with his weight.

"Oh my god! What happened to him, Michael!? Why are you carrying Edward!?"

"Nothing, Mrs Emily! Sir is just drunk-"

"Drunk!? What!"

"Yes! He had this company dinner and so they forced him to drink as he succeeded in signing some deal off and he couldn't refuse it-"

"Emily..."

Edward stirred in his sleep, now looking up at me, his eyes all puffed up red and his hairs ruffled up from moisture. He was soaked wet from heavy rain, his shirt was dripping of water and he stumbled in his little steps.

"Hello Emily!? How have you been, my dear!?

Hello? Seriously how much did he drink?

"I misssssssed you soooooo much, Lily"

Edward walked towards me, throwing all his weight on me while I stumbled back, not being able to balance myself properly. He wrapped his wet arms around me hardly, scooping me up. His breath reeked of pure alcohol, and his wet clothes sticked to my own dry ones.

"I think I should help you take him upstairs Mam!" Michael said, his fingers dusting off moisture from his wet hairs.

I looked at Micheal who was also soaked from head to toe. His eyes looked tired and I wondered if he was even able to sleep after he went chasing Rose yesterday night.

"No. Michael I will manage from here! Why don't you go and change into some warm clothes yourself! It's chilling cold outside!"

"But still you can't carry him all the way upstairs-"

"I can manage it very well, Michael. You can go now!" I said, struggling from Edward's weight on my body while he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Thank you very much, Mrs Emily!"

"Miss Emily!?" Edward said, now breaking the hug to turn around and look at Michael.

"I said Mrs Emily sir!?"

"She isn't ...Miss Emilllly, Michael! She is Mrs Emily, meaning Mrs Emily Jonnnnnnnnnes, my dear wiffffe!" Edward slurred his words, glaring at Micheal.

"My apologies for my mistake sir but I meant very well to say-"

"Leave it, Michael. You go and change. I am sure Edward didn't mean any of it! It's just this stupid alcohol speaking!"

Micheal nodded and left the room and I turned towards Edward annoyingly.

"Seriously how much did you drink anyway!?"

Edward blinked twice at me, his lips curling into a dashing grin before he raised his five fingers at me. "I drank two. Just two, my dearrrrrrrr! I swear!"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Sure. If the meaning of two in your dictionary actually means "five rounds of two" or "two rounds of five"! Seriously, Edward if you can't hold your liquor then why would you go and drink loads of it!?"

He didn't respond, but continued to look at me, shaking his head in between to pry off sleep.

"Never mind! Let's just get you to bed!"

Snaking my arms around his neck, I tried to make him move but he didn't budge an inch. Instead, he entangled himself from me and walked towards my kitchen, his little steps showing the effect of alcohol.

"Where are you going now!?"

"I want to peeeeeee before I go to sleeeeeep.... or I would end up doing it over youuuuuuuu or over my bedshedeet!"

I blinked at him incredulously, not able to find my words to answer him while he walked towards my kitchen leisurely.

"Why the hell are you walking on my kitchen then!?"

"I want to do it in herrrrre! It's closerrrr for.. me!"

"Are you crazy, Edward!? That's my fucking kitchen sink!"

He waved his hand on my face. "A sinkkkk is a sinkk! After alll, it all goes down to the same pipelinneee and" He struggled to open his eyes "can....you please turnnnn around a little, I can't hold it anymoreeeee!"

My eyes widened in horror as he put his hands on the zipper of his pants and pulled it down. I covered my eyes with my one hand and gripped Edward's wrist with my other hand.

"No! Don't do it in here! It's my pious kitchen for god's sake! I'll take you to the washroom now!"

"No. I'll do it in herrrrre onlyyy!"

"I am telling you don't do it!"

"Leaveee my handdddddd!"

"Please, I am begging you with my whole life!"

"Let meee-"

"Edward, I will chop your fucking dick off if you dared to leak your proud male bladder here" I pointed my index finger towards the sink,"in my kitchen sink!"

For a moment, he stopped struggling and then zipped up his pants, mumbling something incoherent. He walked towards the stairs and fell on his face in his first step. Quickly I rushed towards him and pulled him up with difficulty as he looped like a mortein around my shoulder.

With more bumps, thud and loud falls of more than five vases and one painting, I reached our bedroom and opened the door by kicking it hard. Throwing him lazily on the bed, I huffed like a dog on the carpet, fanning my hands on my face to get some air, still feeling difficulty to breathe.

"My god! Your are so heavy, like a bull!"

I attempted to stand up but something cracked and I kneeled on the floor in pain. "I think I broke my back badly!"

Turning around, I saw Edward busy in fighting with the blanket, kicking it for no reason before he sat on the bed and started to unbutton his wet shirt.

Ignoring my own pain on my back, I walked towards him and gripped his hands, putting them on his side gently and unbuttoning his shirt myself while my eyes looked anywhere but him. I could feel his intense gaze on my face while I popped buttons of his shirt, one by one.

"Emilyy!?"

I looked at him. "Yes! Do you want-"

"I am in paiiiin Emily! So muuuuch pain!"

"What!? Where!? Did you fall somewhere else as well!? I told you to walk properly in the stairs! I hate alcohol seriously! You-let me see for myself! "Turning his face, a little, I examined his arms and legs for any injuries but didn't sucessfully find any.

"Not there, Emily" Edward said, shaking his head and gripped my hand which were on his shirt to place my palm right over his heart. "It's in here"

I looked at my hand resting over his heart and then at his face and my breathing laboured in anticipation to see his heart pounding loudly against his chest.

Maybe the effect of alcohol, I supposed. After all, alcohol increases the blood pressure causing hypertension due to narrowing of blood vessels and-

"Won't you ask me why I...am in pain!? Any first....symptoms of it!? You are a doctor, Emily!"

I nodded abstenmindely at him, still staring at my palm pressed hard over his chest. He covered my hand with his fingers, his light touch increasing my heartbeat rapidly.

"What.. what was the first symptom..then!?" I stuttered in my words, now staring at his eyes just as he pulled me closer to him.

"When you told me...you had a crush on Eric, and not me!"

"I.. "I looked down in embarrasment, my mind working for words to answer him.

"Second was....when some blonde boy took seat beside you...when I was supposed to be the one sitting beside you!"

I looked at him instantly, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion to see if he was really drunk or not.

"Edward are you-"

Suddenly he gripped my hand resting on his chest, tightly and pulled me more closer to him, now our noses touching tip to tip and I inhaled a deep breath to find myself in such a close proximity to him.

"It pains here" He put his one hand over his chest,"in my heart, very much" He stared deeply into my eyes, "Everytime you think and talk of some other man, who could easily take you away from me and then I..." He gripped my shoulders tightly, my lips parted slightly to see his mouth coming closer to mine.

"And then I think I won't be able to live another day of my life, not seeing you by my side!"

"Edward, I-"

He put his one finger over my lips, stopping me from speaking anything.

"Emily, I think...." He removed his finger from my lips to cup my cheeks, his smooth fingers grazing my chin gently. "I think there is something terribly wrong with me."

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly in confusion.

"I don't find those half-clothed women out there attractive anymore. Instead.." He glanced beiefly towards my attire."When you wear these simple clothes in front of me, I get this..." He stopped talking for a minute. "I get this crazy feeling to hug you tight and...keep you with me all my life and to never let you go but.... I know you also have a life so I try to remain civil but I can't...control myself and so I always end up... snapping at you... "

I smiled genuinly at him, putting my hands over his to assure him. "I am not going anywhere Edward. I am always with you but you have to understand to decide your priorities first! I mean, that someday you'll also have a wife" Edward looked at me in confusion. "A real wife, Edward, the one whom you'll marry with your heart's consent. I am just a substitute for now but when she'll come, you need to understand that we can't stay together forever. You'll have a family then and maybe I will also have a husband-"

Edward gripped my shoulders tightly, almost painfully, making me look up at him. "You're not leaving me anytime soon, you understand that! I'll hunt you down even from hell and heaven if you ever did that! Don't you remember, lily..." He gripped my wrists tightly "That I never share things which clearly belongs to me and Emily Willows will always belong to Edward Jones here! And to no one else!"

"And never talk of any other men in front of me, ever!"

I stared at him in anger and confusion. "Edward, are you seriously being all jealous and possessive now!? Like really!? After all those years, you are jealous of your own cousin!? Why so! Just because you think I have a crush on him? That I love him!?"

"Yes, Emily! I am jealous of Eric and I'll always be! Because you chose him and not...." Suddenly he stopped talking, his eyes not daring to meet mine.

"Not?"

Edward didn't respond but busied himself in changing his clothes, falling over his own blanket two times and when I came forward to help him, he refused to let me touch him. He went into washroom, stumbling loudly over the table and breaking the glass candlestand while I stared at him in pure pity, not being able to realise the reason of his sudden anger.

I tapped my foot on the carpet, impatiently waiting for Edward to come out and when a faint click of door opening reached my ears, I stood up abruptly to see Edward all dressed up in decent clothes and his eyes showing less tiredness, fatigue and stress of the day.

"Are you feeling little okay now!?"

Ignoring my question like a pro, Edward took his towel from his closet with some effort and started to rinse his wet hairs.

"Why would you go and drink loads of alcohol when you can't hold it!"

He still didn't reply and in frustration, I walked towards him and clutched his towel tightly in my fingers. "Talk to me Edward and tell me what the hell did I do wrong to you!?"

He looked at me in anger, as if he would eat me alive the moment I would speak a single word against him once more but I wasn't afraid of him or his stupid immature fights and glares anymore.

"Tell me the reason why you get mad at me for no reason at all!?"

"Why don't you ever understand, Emily!? Why you always stress me out so much!?"

"I never give you any stress, Edward but you always have every words and sentences aimed at me for your illogical accusations!?"

"Illogical accusations? I never accused you of anything but-"

"You don't reject me! You don't accept me either Edward! What am I supposed to do!? Play the role of your fake wife and best friend my whole life!? Why so? Just because you want to keep going with your relationship with Lara-"

"I told you before that you can leave this marriage anytime you want!"

"You never let me, Edward-"

"Because I never asked you to leave me, you can leave this marriage but not me-"

"Why not you!? What's so good about you, Edward that I can't go on with my life without you!? And yes, tell me, what's so good about me that you can't live a single day without me!?"

Edward stared at me for a moment before coming forward. I watched his movements as he raised his hands to cup my face, leaning towards me slowly, our noses touching and both of our lips parted.

"Don't you love me, Emily?"

My eyes widened slowly to listen those words from his mouth and when I looked up at him, I saw his eyes asking for the answer of his question but when I didn't answer, he moved his lips to brush them slighly over my cheek, just a light feather touch tingling my nerves.

I closed my eyes shut tightly in anticipation seeing his lips coming towards my own and waited for him to kiss me. But when I felt the sudden weight on my shoulder, I opened my eyes to see Edward leaning his head on my shoulder, his eyes closed in sleep. With disappointement crawling slowly in my heart , I caressed his hair gently, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly.

Finally, the tears that I have been holding for so long, got loose and salty moisture started to drip drop by drop on the carpet. I snuggled my face in the crook of Edward's shirt, holding him tightly to support his heavy weight. Feeling pity for my own tears, I tried to wipe them as quickly as I could but they weren't willing to stop anytime soon and after a minute, I stopped struggling and let them fall on the floor.

"I love you, Edward. I love you so much!" I whispered in between my soft sobs, not caring anymore if he would hear it or not.

I didn't care anymore, I decided.

I was tired of my unrequited love for someone who didn't himself know what he actually wanted!

Edward wanted me in his life but I could never take the place of his first love in his heart!

With some little difficulty, I succeeded in placing Edward on his bed. I draped a large blanket over his sleeping form, covering his body up-to his neck and switched off the table lamp. Standing up from his side, I turned the doorknob around.

"I love you toooo" came the heavy sleep-laden voice of Edward.

My hands stopped in midway to stare wide-eyed at his sleeping form.

"Lara"

© Ritika Verma,
книга «For His Sake».
47| Love The One Who Loves You Back
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