I HATE ANYONE'S PITY FOR ME
This feeling of pity and support,
Seems to me like humiliation and pushing my face into the dirt,
I am who I am,
My pain doesn't come from my surroundings, but from myself,
You better not pity me please,
I'm so different and strange,
This is my source of pain,
I'm in my head,
Watch it rain outside the window,
Do you think I'm pathetic and in need of care?
Over the past year I have changed,
I changed my face several times with a wave,
I used to write only poetry, but now I also draw maniacs,
I drink liquor when I want to relax,
Now I am fine, sharpening an ax
People are like wood for me,
Chop them up with an ax, squeeze out all the blood for paint,
I never claimed to be a saint,
I never called myself sane,
I've always been and will always be sick and stand out,
No one was a mystery to me and unpredictable except myself,
Nobody knows, not even me, what I'll do in a second,
The ax that I used to kill hundreds is now on my belt,
You're looking for me in my mind, but I'm beyond
It's better to be in pain and alone,
Than to feel empathy and humiliation,
Walked down the lane a second ago
And disappeared into darkness and gone,
YOUR EYES CAN ONLY FOLLOW MY SHADOW,
I have not finished one thing in my soul yet,
The question's whether I'm alive inside myself or am I already dead,
I'm not pathetic I'm just thinkin' in my head,
I'm in my world of meditation all the questions I solve there,
In the real world, I'm serious an' don't give emotions from feelings of pain and fear,
I'm on the cloud of thought, do not try to shout to me, there's nothing I can hear,
Yeah...
25.10.2020
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