The path to self destruction...
All my life i have wanted to be loved.. Said like this it sounds pathetic but doesn't everyone seeks it? Acceptance?Understanding?Respect?Attention? Those are forms of love too.I never knew i had it in me to stoop so low,to embrace the darkness in me.I have loved so many & lost myself in so many.I had been the victim for a long time and i never realised i would be the abuser today. I knew this was going to be the last time i would love someone as now i can't seem to find any love in me to give. I am not the same either.Its like all the love i had was turned into hot burning fire.And it keeps on burning & burning myself and thyself... The path to self destruction knowingly or unknowingly is a lonely endless road... You have survived the unlovable parts of me to tell.. Because i let you see me.. All of me.. I have loved you more than anyone will ever be able to tell you if you ask.. You just could not let me love you as you have your own share of darkness to deal with...
2019-01-14 00:07:33
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I Saw a Dream
I saw a dream, and there were you, And there was coldness in your eyes. I wonder what a kind of true Made you become as cold as ice. And later I looked back to get a sense This empty glance was hellish call of past. It used to be a high and strong defense Against the world, the pain and me at last. You looked at me, and peering in your soul, I felt so lonely, as something vital died. And that is what I fear most of all - That nothing gentle will remain inside. Inside of you. Inside of me as well. And nothing will be said to farewell.
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Emotions/эмоции
ENGLISH;I am happy, when the sun shines bright and your smile is genuine.I am sad,when the rain pours down and your eyes flood with tears.I am angry,when you lie and are selfish.I am jelous,when you spend your time with everyone but me.I am excited,when I know I have a day ahead with only you.I am worried,when your promises are slipping away from my reach.I am heartbroken,when you prove to me I will forever be alone.I am scared,when my nightmares turn into a reality.I am lonely,when you walk away for good.I am so damaged,when you break my heart over and over again.. I am tired,when I feel all these emotions at once.I feel so alone,that I'm starting to like it that way.I feel too many emotions,and that's what makes me human.I feel things,and that is something I'm not capable of stopping.I am not going to hide away my emotions,because without them I mean nothing,with out them I am nothing. Lillian *Sorry about errors* RUSSIAN; Фамили счастлив, когда ярко светит солнце и "твоя улыбка искренняя". Мне грустно, когда льет дождь, а твои глаза наполняются слезами. Я злюсь, когда ты лжешь и эгоистичен. Я болею, когда ты проводишь время со всеми, кроме меня. Я взволнован, когда я знаю, что у меня впереди только один день. Я волнуюсь, когда твои обещания ускользают от моей досягаемости. Я с разбитым сердцем, когда ты Докажи мне, что я навсегда останусь один. Мне страшно, когда мои кошмары превращаются в реальность. Я одинок, когда ты уходишь навсегда. Я так поврежден, когда ты разбиваешь мне сердце снова и снова .. Я устал , когда я чувствую все эти эмоции одновременно. Я чувствую себя настолько одиноким, что мне это начинает нравиться. Я чувствую многие эмоции, и это то, что делает меня человеком. Я чувствую вещи, и это то, что я Я не собираюсь прятать свои эмоции, потому что без них я ничего не значу. Лилиан и моя дорогая подруга Фиалка Я скучаю по ультрафиолету LILLIAN xx
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