Вірші
Dinner Is Served
As I try to write this piece
My eyes grew heavy
And my hunger increased
I'm ready to get messy
I'll no longer try to be careful
Because some juice needs to be spilled
The fork I'm about to stab you with may be hurtful
Sorry not sorry cause I'm here to kill
You spend a great deal manipulating
Trying to get into my head
Patiently I sat waiting
For your cheating ass to drop dead
I can smell a liar more than I can smell food
There is this urging desire to look closer for the clues
I paid close attention to your changing mood
A glass shattered at the heart breaking news
I thought you could love my scars
But the only thing you loved was feeding your pleasures
The only thing I got was burnt by your cigars
Can't believe you was someone I treasured
Now I know better
And I wish you would rot
I want to leave you this last letter
And I hope you put it to thought
'Karma is coming
Not the same bitch you think
I'm the one who'll have you running
Destroying your world before you could blink'
I'll cross my legs at the dinner table
Enjoying my meal
Laughing at your naiveness doubting that I wasn't able
To do what you did, you thought I couldn't steal
I'll laugh at your face
While I take away your control
I'll smash your heart with this vase
And take back everything you stole
Bon appétit
I'm serving this dinner tonight BITCH
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Memories
I'll hold you in the frame of my heart
A place where you'll never depart
I'll replay you every second in my mind
Our memories will forever be on rewind
I'll cry these tears from the brokenness of losing you
The one thing that held great value
You'll forever be my greatest memory
My heart is your whole documentary
The more I ponder, the more I see, the way you lived gave me a whole new mentality about humanity
That's why you're my most cherished memory
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Fallen Angel
You was my guiding light
My angel that watched over me throughout the night
But lately my light has dimmed
It's like you're becoming extinct
How can I find my way
It hurts to know that you couldn't stay
You sheltered my rain
I felt protected 'finally no more pain'
Why do angels leave
They say God will answer your prayer but I don't believe
They say he's a man of his word
Erase my hurt
He's a loving God
If he loved so much then why did he allowed this love to be erased from my heart
Why create an angel then take him away
Why allow him to go on this day
He was my guiding light
The angel that watched over me throughout the night
He was my painkiller
He made me a believer
He helped me see the brighter side to life
But I guess just like Jesus he had to pay the price
He died because of our sinful life.
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Be Aware
I've been through it
I've lived through it
I've cried
Felt like I'll die
Suffered so much pain
That it was so hard to explain
Couldn't speak a word
Couldn't handle this hurt
I wanted to cut
Wanted to be ran over by a truck
I needed to inflict some pain
To take my mind of this rain
I was tempted to pop does pills
Wanted to get rid of this guilt
Why was I born this way
Why couldn't my life be ok
Haven't I suffered enough
From living a life so rough
From the physical abuse
To the verbal
To the rape
Leaving my heart to break
And when I finally got someone I love
They send him flying with God's doves
I couldn't take it
So depression became my fit
I lost all my interest
I lost the true meaning of living
But slowly I'm rising
I get knock down
But I will never stop striving
I will not make the sky be my limit
I'll keep living cause I'm in it to win it
Just know that anyone can survive
But not everyone can feel alive
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Be Aware (Physical abuse)
Physical abuse has always been a touchy subject
I hated when I'm being treated like a mere object
I wanted to be able to be free
Free from everyone that was hurting me
I never talked about my pain
I just turned on the shower and let my tears flow like rain
There was no one I could turn to
When I was suffering from abuse
Telling anyone was really useless
It is hard living in a home that's so loveless
I knew he didn't like me
But I always had respect
Wanted to show kindness
Didn't want to be like the rest
The slaps I received
No one believed
The marks didn't last on my body
But it was there in my mind
I had to move on
Couldn't let someone try to destroy my mind
So I told myself I can turn this pain into strength
And I put up a big wall as my defence
Don't matter what you're going through you are a star
And if you keep going you will reach far.
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Be Aware (verbal abuse)
I have always been ashamed of the way I look
I hated being watched and judged like a book
Exposing myself made me feel bare
Scarred by my mama's words, drowning me with fear
It felt like I was showing you my broken soul
That was covered with thorns and holes
Standing in front of you, showing you all of me
Hoping that when you cast your eyes you would like what you see
I was showing you the vulnerability in my eyes
Letting you know that I really tried not to believe all mothers lies
But her words kept playing over and over in my mind
'You're ugly, you wouldn't be loved, your body is a disgusting sight' those words was always on rewind
So I stand in front of you hoping you won't judge
Hoping that my internal scars are not to much
I'm letting you know that you need some self care
You need to stop living in fear
Stop letting your mom get inside your head
Stand up for yourself instead
All you need to know is that you don't need to change
You shouldn't be trapped by these chains
Your heart is filled with gold
That's the one thing that shouldn't be sold
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Toxic
This is the last
I'm washing away our memories
Since you already moved on so fast
Since before I can even decide that you wasn't right for me
You was in someone else's lap
I tried to fix us so much
That I got trapped
My heart was so soft
That I brushed past your mask
I've been numb
Emotionally blocked
Couldn't write a word
This poem was even hard to start
But I am done
I'm tired of you controlling me
Even when we're done
I need back my control
You did what you did
Now it's time for me to let go
I know it would take a lot for me to love again
It would take a lot for me to grow
You've taken a huge part of me
So I started loving the cold
And even when I'm swimming
I'm sinking also
Your love was toxic
And it burned me to the core
But I can't allow you to poison my life anymore
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Guiding Light
I put out my light
So you can see
That this relationship
Could be a possibility
I held my arrow
And shoot my shot
But over and over
I missed the spot
I know what is love
I know what I feel
I always get what I want
Not being able to get you
Is frustrating me
I don't understand
Why you can't see
That I never cared about
My past
Because you wasn't apart
Of my galaxy
I'm not a quieter so
I'll never quite
I'll keep guiding you
So one day you would
Come to me
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