What If
What if she looks through our old conversations? We would never be able to talk again. You would be put in prison. They would never trust me again. And you would hate me. So I’ll just hate myself a little more. Because I keep messing up. I keep doing stupid stuff. It’s like there isn’t anything I can do right anymore. Because what if she does look through it? What then? What now?
I’m so scared. I’m shaking, I’m crying, I’m hating. We were going to see each other. You were going to take me away. And now she might see it. She might see what we were going to do. This isn’t good, it can’t be. So I’ll just hate myself a little more because I keep doing these stupid things. I keep letting them happen. I can’t say no... why can’t I say no? What if she sees?
04.10.2018
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