Motherhood
Tiny clothes, shoes, diapers,
I thought I had this thing called motherhood mapped out
I thought my childbirth would be smooth
But the roadblocks I encountered are a story for another day
Coming home with my tiny bundle of joy
I never thought of the lonely sleepless nights
Colicky cries, breastfeeding was the worst of all
The adverse effect they would have on me
Frustrations were many from "well-meaning" folks
Their opinions abundant on anything and everything I was doing wrong
They made me feel weak,
inadequate in every way and the worst mother ever
Isolating myself in the safety of my room, exhausted, slowly loosing it
The person who was to protect me from this
Was the one feeding the hungry ears
Their tongues wagged, words became vile
Sinking deeper and deeper in this abyss
Feeling numb, no pleasure in motherhood
Slowly loosing the battle and letting darkness engulf me
Getting professional help was the only way out my mum said
Medicine prescribed, I said fuck their advice and opinions
Cradling my baby, swaying her side to side
I chose sanity, I chose life, I chose my baby
My pride, the daughter of my youth
2022-10-15 18:14:43
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