Haunted...

Ruqayyah Jkh

Whoever said letting go is like withdrawal from cocaine is not wrong.. My sleepless nights give me so much nightmares.. I have not eaten a proper way ever since.. I am haunted.. When i see something i tell myself she will love that i shall buy it for her then.. When i read an article i tell myself i should share it with her she might find it interesting too.. When i read a book and i already know she will like to read that book too, she will relate.. When i stay in my room, every single part of it has her stuffs she gave me.. Also the memory of the day she was in this room.. When i think of my birthday now, all i see is her..what she gave me then.. When i watch a movie where there is a particular scene, i relate to that..i go back to memory lane.. Some days i forced myself to get out of the house because i feel im going insane.. Some days i have no where to go but to face it.. I don't know what i miss anymore.. I don't know what i feel anymore.. Some days I'm fine.. Some days i want to burn down everything.. Some days i pretend to be fine.. Some days i want to end the pain..the memories..the feelings.. I don't know where i stand anymore.. I was getting better then i was not.. She is not fine either.. I can't help her because whenever i try i make things worse.. I can't help worrying about her.. She calls it being emotionally dependent.. Maybe i am.. She makes me questions myself.. I make her question herself.. How did we reach here? How did two people who love each other reached to the extent of harming each other? So many misunderstandings.. So many fights.. So many hurts.. How can we still care for each other yet destroy each other? What is wrong with us? Even our friendship is in peril.. Is there really no way for us to be in each other's life? Are we so bad for each other that even the friendship is slipping away?

2018-12-31 12:36:46

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Oh my love song

shadowlinxxx morgan

This is a song I wrote 2 years ago,it's not good but I had 1 day to prepare it for a project.I had to perform it with my friend violet,and it wasn't that bad. Oh my love what happend here,break me until I have no tears.Oh my love what happend here,you make me feel so sad and bad but in the end it's this and that.Oh my love what happend here,I cry and cry till the tears are dry.Oh my love,Oh my love.Ive waited long for you to come,I've waited for you to love me.Oh my love we had it all,but in the end we lost it all.Love can fade just like your life,love can hurt and burn until the ashes crash and turn.Oh my love our souls are connected,but why do i feel them drifting apart.Oh my love we dont have time,you will soon leave me all behind.Oh my love I always knew that in the end,our love would defend our hearts.I stare at the stars,and feel you watching me.Oh my love,I shouldn't love you,but I do.. Lillian xx

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Emotions/эмоции

shadowlinxxx morgan

ENGLISH;I am happy, when the sun shines bright and your smile is genuine.I am sad,when the rain pours down and your eyes flood with tears.I am angry,when you lie and are selfish.I am jelous,when you spend your time with everyone but me.I am excited,when I know I have a day ahead with only you.I am worried,when your promises are slipping away from my reach.I am heartbroken,when you prove to me I will forever be alone.I am scared,when my nightmares turn into a reality.I am lonely,when you walk away for good.I am so damaged,when you break my heart over and over again.. I am tired,when I feel all these emotions at once.I feel so alone,that I'm starting to like it that way.I feel too many emotions,and that's what makes me human.I feel things,and that is something I'm not capable of stopping.I am not going to hide away my emotions,because without them I mean nothing,with out them I am nothing. Lillian *Sorry about errors* RUSSIAN; Фамили счастлив, когда ярко светит солнце и "твоя улыбка искренняя". Мне грустно, когда льет дождь, а твои глаза наполняются слезами. Я злюсь, когда ты лжешь и эгоистичен. Я болею, когда ты проводишь время со всеми, кроме меня. Я взволнован, когда я знаю, что у меня впереди только один день. Я волнуюсь, когда твои обещания ускользают от моей досягаемости. Я с разбитым сердцем, когда ты Докажи мне, что я навсегда останусь один. Мне страшно, когда мои кошмары превращаются в реальность. Я одинок, когда ты уходишь навсегда. Я так поврежден, когда ты разбиваешь мне сердце снова и снова .. Я устал , когда я чувствую все эти эмоции одновременно. Я чувствую себя настолько одиноким, что мне это начинает нравиться. Я чувствую многие эмоции, и это то, что делает меня человеком. Я чувствую вещи, и это то, что я Я не собираюсь прятать свои эмоции, потому что без них я ничего не значу. Лилиан и моя дорогая подруга Фиалка Я скучаю по ультрафиолету LILLIAN xx

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