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I KNOW A GIRL
I know a girl.
In fact
Some folks call her
My girl.
But anyhow I like her
And sometimes
When the gods are kind
I go with her
To various kinds of social affairs.
Last night
There was a dance in town
But I had a sore foot
Which made it impossible
For me to dance.
I told her to go anyway
Without me
If she cared to.
And damn her
She did.
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Anxiety
Afraid to go out.
Afraid to talk to people.
It's difficult to make friend.
I rather be home.
Alone.
Scared to be in a big crowd of people.
Panicking about going to a social event.
Nervous about meeting someone new.
Scared to ask someone something.
Staying quite instead of asking for something you need.
Feeling like everyone is watching you.
Regretting going out.
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Phobia
In a sudden twisted-inward moment
I am lurched into an altered consiusness
of palpitating silent fear, fighting invisible
strangling fingers of irrational thought.
Neurons are playing pinball in my head,
at someone else is looking out through my
eye at the people around me, who are all
fine and well and breathing normal air.
My heart is desperately afraid, it runs
and run away so hard from a threat that
exist only in my mind - but I am distorted
by panic and my breathing betrays me.
My mind is clamouring wearily at me to
relax, get a trip - there is no cause for such
extreme sensitivity. It is only my own
self-consciousness, nothing in really wrong
but I am plunging headlong
into social indequency
and my parachute
won't open.
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