As long as I can think back, I have said and done the wrong things in life. Everyone kept telling me to be strong. At that point I didnt know what that even looked like. Everything inside me kept screaming to give up. I kept focusing on where I was and not where I could be. That feeling was numbing and I just couldn't shake it. I really started to wonder how much longer I would be stuck in this dark pit? would I ever find my way out? The worst part is when I started to question, will I ever find myself again? And I knew that it's only a matter of time before I break. I soaked my pillow night after night with tears from all the pain and anguish There were nights I layed awake at night wondering, was there Someone somewhere in the world with this same pain and agony? Who feels that they also don't have a voice? Who feels empty and alone? Everywhere I looked, everyone around me had it all together look at them, look how happy they are. they don't have a care in the world. Gosh what I would give be in their shoes At night those painful feelings got more intense. That's when I take out my pen to write.  The rain slashing up against my window and trees howling from the wind. Night after night I felt so alone all I could do was lay there and cry. There were days I had to Pretend to be brave and act like everything was ok. but the constant worry and dread was still upon me. It continued like a steady rate  Finally a breakthrough from the many years of torment and toture!! A small glimmer of hope and sunshine breaks through those rumbling dark clouds that once suffocated me  Telling me I'm meant for bigger and better things Now I can look back at it all and not have to worry or hurt anymore. I'll remember the pain but not feel so sore. I'll remember the tears but not feel so alone. But I won't give into the pressure of going back It's my old life that is now just a distant memory I won't fall victim to this crime of depression I won't be chained and shackled down I'm strong enough now to finish my climb. Many situations I do regret but cannot fix, Times I barely hung on like newly laid bricks.  Despite all of the many things I have said and done wrong in my life I still find many reason to believe I'm much stronger now than I once was I'll let you in on something I will not do. I won't give up! I'm a fighter! My light now shines brighter than ever!