Chapter 1: The Illusion
I woke myself up again from a night terror last night & inhaled a huge gasp for air. Probably because I was talking about it recently since it has actually been awhile since the last time it happened to me.
I know it's not healthy to repress everything that has happened but I can't help it. It would break me completely if I allowed for it all to surface. I will however tell you about one situation in particular detail that I recall from my childhood. I was four years old & sitting cross legged on the hardwood living room floor. There was a stained oak desk directly in front of me & the wall behind it had sort of a tanned cast yellow pigment to it with a dark wooden door & golden doorknob leading to another room right next to it. I heard a large commotion coming from directly behind those sandy walls although I didn't really understand what it was that I was hearing. when all of a sudden the dark wooden door came flying open & my momma came rushing out behind the desk breathing heavily. She stood in between the desk & the wall. We were on opposite sides of the desk from one another when she grabbed her chest & stumbled up against that gross yellowish wallpaper. As she tried grabbing for anything that might hold her up with her free hand then she slid down the wall & disappeared behind the desk. She hit the floor with a thud. I was in shock & staring at the desk thinking about how at any second she'd hop up & this would all be a joke. Unfortunately it wasn't a joke since my biological father came rushing into the room & picked my mom up off the floor & rushed out the front door with her in his arms leaving the door ajar.
Later I found out that my mother had actually had a heart attack & passed away at the age of 23. Since I have given you a sliver of enough information into my life that is necessary for now, I'd like to get to the point where I tell you that this book isn't about me or any of my family issues. It's about deception & illusion.
I know it's not healthy to repress everything that has happened but I can't help it. It would break me completely if I allowed for it all to surface. I will however tell you about one situation in particular detail that I recall from my childhood. I was four years old & sitting cross legged on the hardwood living room floor. There was a stained oak desk directly in front of me & the wall behind it had sort of a tanned cast yellow pigment to it with a dark wooden door & golden doorknob leading to another room right next to it. I heard a large commotion coming from directly behind those sandy walls although I didn't really understand what it was that I was hearing. when all of a sudden the dark wooden door came flying open & my momma came rushing out behind the desk breathing heavily. She stood in between the desk & the wall. We were on opposite sides of the desk from one another when she grabbed her chest & stumbled up against that gross yellowish wallpaper. As she tried grabbing for anything that might hold her up with her free hand then she slid down the wall & disappeared behind the desk. She hit the floor with a thud. I was in shock & staring at the desk thinking about how at any second she'd hop up & this would all be a joke. Unfortunately it wasn't a joke since my biological father came rushing into the room & picked my mom up off the floor & rushed out the front door with her in his arms leaving the door ajar.
Later I found out that my mother had actually had a heart attack & passed away at the age of 23. Since I have given you a sliver of enough information into my life that is necessary for now, I'd like to get to the point where I tell you that this book isn't about me or any of my family issues. It's about deception & illusion.
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Chapter 1: The Illusion
Hi! Where are you from?
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2018-05-04 07:35:25
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