There was a time when I believed in what my mother and others told me about the whole God, Satan, heaven, and hell thing. I never truly understood it. Was it real? Is there a God? Is there a heaven? Is the soul constantly being judged waiting for paradise or eternal damnation? Now I’m more confused than ever before, with school telling me one thing and life telling me another. What do I put my faith in, evolution or creation?

    In high school I tried to look beyond my understanding of science and to believe yet again in my religion. I don’t know where I’ll go in the next life if there is one, but my mother has always assured me I’d be sent to perdition for eternity, my immortal soul would be tortured till the end of days according. Hopefully I just die without consequence or damnation of any kind. “Noe you alright” asked my friend Omar “yeah dude I’m fine it’s just lala land” “oh ok then”. “Class dismissed have a great weekend everyone” said Ms. Merewether. I walked out of my fifth period bio class feeling really unnerved; I walked over to my cousin Gladyz. “Hey what up”? She asked “nothing how was school”? I asked “it was good”. We waited for my auntie Alma (Gladyz’s mom), we all went home and did the usual, we ate dinner and everyone went their separate ways A.K.A into their rooms.

    The following day

“So Robert’s having a party tomorrow, you want to go”? Asked my best friend Diego “Yeah sure dude why not” I said “Diego did you do Merewether’s homework bruh”? I asked. “Dude Noe you gotta stop with the whole "school is everything and I can’t have fun crap", dude live while you can” he responded seriously “yeah I guess, I’ll just do it Sunday” I said “there you go, alright bro see you tomorrow” said Diego “yeah man lates”.

    The following day   

I was driving around in my auntie’s expedition on my way to a friend’s random house party. I was driving through a crossroad and almost hit a dog and lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a nearby tree. “Is he going to be ok doc” my auntie Alma asked Dr. Radshersds “his chance of survival is next to impossible, he broke several bones including three ribs that punctured his liver, intestine, and his heart. He suffered a massive brain injury when he flew out the vehicle. The fact that he is alive as we speak is astonishing” said Dr. Radshersds.When the doctor left the waiting room my family couldn’t help but to sorrow my very possible death. “I never should have lent him the car or maybe I should’ve taken him instead, he might be ok right now if I did” said my cousin Esmeralda. “No don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault you didn’t know this would happen” said my cousin Jasmin.

“Hello, hello can’t you hear me” I shouted to people passing by. “Where am I”? I asked myself trying to keep calm and sane. I walked all around the hospital and finally I reached the sixth floor and saw my family in the waiting room and ran to them. When I was next to them I asked “Why are we here auntie who’s hurt”? But nobody answered. I saw my uncle cacho who had become more of a father to me rather than a mere uncle. He was sitting beside my auntie Alma with his hands on his face and crying. I heard Jasmin talking on the phone with someone telling them Noe was in the hospital and didn’t have much time left and that they should come and say their goodbyes. “What? But I’m ok” I thought. Suddenly Dr. Radshersds came into the waiting room and said “you can see him now I suppose; he doesn’t have much time now so make the most of it”. As they were about to go into the room I saw practically my entire extended family coming into the waiting room and the doctors allowed them all to go into the room. I just couldn’t help but to be shocked. I decided to follow them into the room, oh my god why? Why me? I saw my body in the bed bruised and broken covered with a body cast; it was shocking to say the least. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I looked perfectly fine, I felt fine. I tried to wrap my head around what was happening, oh my god what of my mother what’s going to happen to her after my passing. It was a powerful realization….I’m going to die.

I walked out of the bathroom and out of the room and into the hallway, all of a sudden I saw something pass at an unbelievable speed and it was moving towards me and I felt a strong sense of fear run up my spine and I couldn’t move. It looked very ghostly and terrifying, like a skeletal looking ghost it seems, as a matter a fact using the word “terrifying” was a complete understatement there are no words that could ever describe it. It came back around many times like it knew it was scaring me, like it was cornering me.

It came back again but this time it was heading down the hallway, as it approached it changed its physique and “it” turned into a “she”. A very beautiful woman and she came even closer “hello Noe my name is Tessa and I’m what you would call a Reaper. Your life is hours from being over, you don’t belong in this plane anymore come with me” she said “how? Why did you change”? I asked. “It is the way I present myself to an evil or corrupted soul. I present myself to good or devout souls in the form of a young pretty woman, so the reason you see me like this is because you are a good soul. You managed to catch a glimpse of my other form because I was picking up evil and corrupted souls.” She explained. “Now then, shall we leave” she said, “where”? I asked “it’s not my place to say where” she responded. “I can’t go…my mother, I can’t leave her alone” I said in a very weary tone, “your mother will be fine, who knows you might even meet again in the next life” she said calmly. “May I stay just a little”? I asked, “alright but only when if you swear to me that you’ll leave with me” she said understandingly.

I walked back into the room after Tessa left and saw everyone in the room crying and I felt so horrible knowing that’ll never see any of them again. I stayed there with them in the final hours of my life. I saw my auntie Alma, who had become more of a mother to me than simply an auntie and her sorrow filled me with a painful sadness that I can’t easily describe. I started to cry, it was a shock, and I didn’t think the soul was cable of such emotion. My auntie Alma was talking on the phone with my true mother and I could her crying and it hurt me even more and I as stood there crying, I heard the machines go crazy as my body’s heart rate began to drop very fast. Everyone was in a hysteria, the doctors were rushing into the room to try and save me.

I didn’t want to be saved...it was crazy after going through so much I didn’t want to be saved. I was ok with the idea of dying and as the thoughts escaped my mind, Tessa appeared before me as though she knew I was truly ready to move on. “It’s time” she said seriously, “ok but how do we do this”? I asked, “Well it’s simple, we just hug” she said, “How does that work”? I asked curiously, “think of me as a spiritual door when we hug you open the door and pass through the other side, where you go is not in my place to say” she responded willingly. I approached her and we hugged, there was a very bright light and then I saw it…..heaven.

“I’m in heaven” I thought, and my heaven was my family the ones that are dead and alive. I saw something beautiful coming towards me, I just couldn’t believe my eyes it was an angel not just any angel it was St. Michael I knew him. “Hello Noe, my name is Michael chief prince of the heavens and the commander of Gods army. This is your heaven what you love most…your family. Well i'll leave you to it and don’t be sad God and the heavenly host are with your family truly” he said assuredly and left. I walked closer to my family, it was amazing they were all there my grandma my grandpa, my uncles and cousins, I mean literally everyone I’d ever loved and known were there even my dearest of friends. I was happy and ok and thanks to St. Michael’s assurance that God and his angels would be with my family spiritually, I knew without a doubt in mind that everything was going to be perfect back on earth, sure they might miss me but they’ll move on and be very happy more so than before, not just because God and the angels would be there for them in sprit but also because I would watch over them. I will be their guardian Angel forever and ever till the end of time. “God” I said “thank you for your blessings, for your love, for my family, thank you for everything. I trust you, I love you. I believe in you”.

I thought I was ok in my paradise but for some unknown reason I found myself back in the hospital not as a sprit but as an actual person…alive. I opened my eyes and saw them all…my family, they were smiling. I started to cry not because I was happy but because I’m not supposed to be here. I looked around and saw no sign of Tessa, I tried to move but then I remembered that I’m practically a vegetable. Dr. Radshersds came into the room walked next to me and said “Noe we lost you there for a moment but luckily we were able to perform the necessary surgery to fix you up including a heart replacement made up from stem cells. We also managed to replace your other punctured organs with the stem celled organs, also we managed to fix up your spinal cord so in about four to six years of therapy you’ll be up and running just don’t give up alright, because your very lucky to be alive, big man upstairs must really love you. Son you’re going to be just fine, well I’ll leave with your family”. When the doctor left my auntie Alma got close to me and gave me a kiss in my forehead and said “I’m so happy I didn’t lose you too, I’m going to call your mom and tell her you’re alive, and I can only hope she hasn’t done anything stupid yet”. I nodded an ok and she walked out of the room with her phone.

After everyone was done telling me how happy they were I was alive, I laid in the room thinking to myself “why was I given a second chance”. It was weird I was dead for a long time and now I’m back, but why?

Sunday, march sixth, eight years later.

“Noe are you ready, the party starts in like two hours bro and it’s a long drive” asked Diego. “Yeah I’m ready, oh hey I forgot to ask, is Omar going” I said, “ha-ha yeah he’s going. It’s going to be fun” he responded humorously. “Ok dude I’m already here. Come out and let’s go” he said.

I got my phone and said goodnight to my fiancée and walked out the front door and walked over to Diego’s car and...