My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 1
My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 2-Moving Forward
My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 3 Make Your Voice Heard
My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 4 Warning signs of Abuse
My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 5 Suicide is Not the answer!
My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 6 Triggers
My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 3 Make Your Voice Heard
Abuse of any kind, takes on the roll of  many patterns of manipulative behaviors meant to control and takes power over weak individuals. It can happen at anytime to anyone. While physical, sexual, mental, emotional, & verbal abuse are the most horrific forms of tragic violence, they are sadly overlooked! It is invisible to the naked eye, of the world most people choose to ignore for whatever reason. Abuse happens each & everyday! It is very often something many people unfortunately experience, whether it's in their childhood or as an adult. It's tragic effects can be every bit as mentally damaging to a person's mental and psychological health.

Everyday I frequently hear from many individuals on social media, & people in public, who say they feel the abuse they've went through, was their fault. Coming from a person who has been through tragic abuse for 15 years myself, I have said that very thing for years. I blamed myself by thinking I "deserved" the abuse. I have had to have many years of counseling, with an amazing psychologist, which I am still in to this very day, & will probably be in for many years to come! I have had & still have lots of support of all kinds in my local community. For example peer support, mental health case management, & non-profit mental health organizations, friends and family. Mental health organizations  help individuals with mental illness. People's mental illness occur, due to the mental & psychological tragic abuse they have encountered throughout their lives! In 2010, I was diagnosed with severe PTSD, major depressive disorder, social anxiety & borderline personality disorder. Over the many years, I have had enormous support & have been on hundreds of psychiatric medications for years. If it weren't for years of all the tremendous support & the support of countless people drilling in my head, that the abuse I had encountered all my life, was not my fault by any means! I wouldn't only be where I am today, but I wouldn't be the stronger person I am today! I have come a very long way over the many years! I'm not gonna say it was an easy road to go down, believe me it wasn't! I have had to fight very hard, each and every day with the very little energy, hopelessness, & motivation I had. There were so many days, months, and years I tried to give up & have tried to throw in the towel! I allowed myself to become a victim, instead of a Survivor! I allowed myself to let that monster win! By the grace of God, God placed amazing people in my life, that wouldn't let me give up! They have stopped me on numerous occasions from giving up, although it was very hard on them. To have such amazing people in my life that care that much to not give up on me, when all I wanted was to give up on myself, is nothing short of a true blessing & pure miracle from God! I will always be truly grateful & very thankful for that! I now know, God has a much better purpose and plan for me on this earth for a reason. So my way of giving back is to get my story out there to reach millions of victims! I want to bring them hope, inspiration, and to strongly encourage them to stand strong, tell their story, and speak out against abuse! I want victims to know, they are not alone, & their story isn't over yet!

Speak Up!

Unfortunately, people on this earth who do such evil acts against us & make us victims, for their only sense of satisfaction and enjoyment. They are the ones who brings the fault on themselves. We as victims, unfortunately have to suffer from their unspeakable actions. There are lots of sick & demented people out there in our world today! But it doesn't have to stop there! We as victims, as hard as it may sound, or may be to conquer; have to stand strong & speak out, to make our voices heard! We have to come together as one, to finally put an end to the vicious cycle of abuse! We have the power, God himself gave each and every one of us, to save many lives around the world! We as victims & survivors, have many opportunities to warn millions of people around the world! We can warn millions of individuals of the many signs to watch out for, how to prepare & put into practice, ways to avoid abuse, how to prevent the abuse from occuring, & most importantly, how to defend ourselves against these evil and dangerous perpetrators! No matter what you have encountered throughout your life, there is still Hope! I strongly urge you to seek the support of a therapist, peer support, support of a mental health organization, support groups, & support of friends & family members. Nobody needs or deserves to suffer the agonizing pain of being a victim of abuse alone!

Find a Therapist!

There are many tools out there, not a lot of victims know about, to help build self-esteem, self-confidence, positive self-talk, mindfulness, & retraining your brain from negative thinking to positive thinking. (AKA) (Stinking Thinking). There is lots of talk about how we all have a little voice in the back of our heads, feeding us messages all day long. That voice is often referred to as “self-talk” and it plays a huge role in how we feel about ourselves. However, as one of my recent supporters pointed out, that voice may not always feel like my own. Sometimes the messages we repeat in our own thoughts, echoes the voices and messages we have heard from a significant amount of people in our lives. Whether it be a spouse, parent, sibling, teacher, partner, best friend or any other individual.

Over time, the negative, hurtful, or discouraging messages we hear from others, may cause us to doubt our abilities or value in life. While some harmful things people say to us on a day to day basis, are downright mean, shaming, and belittling. They keep us trapped in a place of doubting ourselves! That in turn holds us back from living up to our full potential.

Eventually, the effects from physical, sexual, mental, emotional, & verbal abuse, takes a toll on a person's self worth, their emotional well-being, their happiness, self-esteem, and ability to trust in themselves and others. The detrimental consequences of any type of abuse can be just as painful and demeaning as a physical blow.

Mentally disturbed individuals who are abusive or narrsasistic, may intentionally put you down in their attempts to make themselves feel more in control & powerful. Any type of abuse tends to happen so fast! Over time, that victim may not even recognize that person's behavior as abusive until it's too late. Then those people become victims, and they get stuck in a seemingly hopeless position.

Every single type of abuse can wreak havoc on a person’s whole world. They begin to question who they are and their own personal well being. Emotional, mental, & verbal abuse can range anywhere from, harsh put-downs, name calling, and can turn into many forms of belittling and humiliation to a person's persona. Emotional, and mental abuse, can also include mind games, and attempts to make another person feel guilty or at fault. These mind altering mind games, tend to make others jealous or can severely persuade and manipulate somebody into doubting themselves.

Mental and emotional abuse may also mean, making threats to a person by telling them, they are gonna take away your children, cause physical harm to you, cut off your financial support, or even threaten you to go through with suicide because you're just not worthy of anything as a person. This can leave a person feeling isolated and alone. The abusive person will attempt to control you in every which way, to manipulate you. You as the victim will start having feelings, as if you are to blame for the abuse. You will start to deny that the abuse is real, after what I call being brain washed. An abusive person can be a pro at being very manipulative. They may display behaviors that can make it extremely hard for somebody like yourself that's in an emotionally, and mentally abusive situation, to dumb you down and cause you to not be able to maintain confidence and a sense of self-worth that, can & will lead an unhealthy and unfulfilling life.

You can recover from emotional and mental abuse!

Extreme damage from emotional and mental abuse can be pure torture! There will be emotional scars that will run deep. Dont give up! It is, and will be possible to take back that control of your life! Taking back control, will take lots of courage and determination! Once you conquer that, you will start to begin to believe in your sense of self worth again! You will start to inevitably be able to let go of that inner pain, that has plagued your life for so long! You will be able to believe in yourself again & have the willingness & motivation to move forward! You will find yourself practicing positive self-talk into your daily life. As you regain self-acceptance, you may be better able to stand up for yourself, be assertive, make your voice heard, and be able to finally set healthy boundaries for your new journey ahead.

If you or anyone you know, has been inflicted by physical, sexual, emotional & mental abuse, I strongly encourage you or someone you may know, to seek help from an experienced therapist, peer support, support groups, and mental health organizations in your local community, to not only help you or someone you know, work through the ongoing hurt and trauma, but make your voice heard at the same time! I will however warn you, while the long-term benefits of standing up to the inflicted physical, sexual, emotional & mental abuse that were put on you, it is very well worth it! While there will also be short-term down falls, that may seem impossible or inconqoncorable. There will also be times, that abusive person will try everything in their power to get that power and control back, they once had over you. Once that begins, first and foremost, make sure you are safe! But that doesn't mean you are weak in anyway! You can still have that drive & motivation to stand tall, firmly believe in yourself, and be able to take that initiative to get your life back! While doing this, do not show any weakness! Don't give them the time of day! Take all that power away from them, by continually staying strong & not showing them, you are scared of them! That's what they want more than anything! Put into practice, all the tools and methods you have learned! Show them they have not broken your spirit! Don't let anything or anyone hold you back!

As you become stronger and healthier and you begin to stand up for yourself, you will begin to gain back some control. This will cause the abusive person to lose their sense of power! The abusive person may make many attempts to control you, and manipulate you, in order to crush your spirit. I'm going to say it again, don't give them that power and control! You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for!

Always keep your eyes and ears open to any abusive attempts that the abusive person may try to inflict on you! It could result in a strong increase of abusive behaviors. Anytime there is physical, sexual, emotional, and mental abuse done to a person, there is always another increased risk of some type of physical violence. Always & most importantly, make sure you are in a very safe place! Such as a safe house, or battered woman's shelter in your local community. If those are not options for you, move out of state for your own safety, where the abusive person cannot find you, and change your phone number! Remember this, certainly and most Importantly, do not tell anyone of your safety plan, until you get situated and know you are safe! I can't stress this enough! If you decide to tell anyone, do it moderately! Only tell trusted friends and family. There are still ways to feel safe, when you don't feel so safe. It's very important to get as much support in your local community, so you can be on your way to your journey to heal and become empowered. As you go on to learn new methods of ways to stay safe and increase your self worth, self-esteem, and confidence. You will finally begin to erase a lot of the negative things that were once thrown at you for so long. You will also begin to find your own voice and self acceptance again. Now, I'm not going to lie, it will take some time, and as much effort as possible on your part. But remember, don't give up to win the race! You will achieve great strides and will become much stronger in your fight to win the race! The day will come, that you will become so strong and will no longer tolerate physical, sexual, mental, emotional, & verbal abuse anymore! You are a Survivor and no longer a victim! That day will come, when you to, will be an advocate and voice for that next victim who is, or had experienced such unfortunate tragic abuse! Take it from me, someone who has been through it! I wouldn't be writing this book, if I hadn't kept fighting all these years!

© Jenny Frye ,
книга «My Story isn't Over Yet!».
My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 4 Warning signs of Abuse
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