Keeping Us Both Alive
Keeping Us Both Alive
remember that day.
The day I lost all I had.
The day I lost half my mind.
The day I forgot how to love.
I remember his cold hands.
I remember his handsome face going pale.
I remember his last breath,
Which were his last words.
"I’ll stay, brother, dont worry," and he was gone.
I thought of that.
At first, I thought he just said that to calm me down. To tell me he was going to stay alive.
But I was wrong.
Now, I just see him everywhere. I think thats what he meant. I could feel him. I could still feel his presence, his touch, his love.
I wake up every morning to see the empty twin bed at my side. At first glimpse, I see him. But as I clear my eyes, he is gone.
Many say that my twin is gone and in a better place.
Others say he is dwelling around the earth.
But I personally think that he is still in me. Helping me thru life with his loss.
I myself feel like a ghost. Everywhere I go along the base, people fear me. They move aside, or just stare at me. 
My brother got along with everyone. But I didnt.
Maybe if it was me who died, people could be happy.
I know I wasnt the only one that mourned over his loss. Almost everyone at base cried that day including the captain.
I know if it was me, only half the men would have come to my funeral.
I once heard one of them saying to others that he wished it was me who died instead of my brother. They think I dont care what they say. But, that was the worst insult they told me. They think im a monster. Just someone really good at fighting and that was all. They think I dont have any feelings. If only they saw my paintings. If only they could go inside my head, Or inside my heart.
Either way, I know my brother still lives in me. Im all there is of him. If I die, we both die. So I will try to keep both of us alive.
© Sunnysides Sunnysides,
книга «We Will Live».
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