All I saw in my dreams was what I had been shown.
The same scene replayed over and over.
I began to hear the voices that had been muted, feel the sensation of lips and hands, the wrench of my heart as I pulled away and the indescribable pain as I was overwhelmed with the amount of pure energy that was introduced into my body as I made contact with the something.
It was as though my brain was filling in the blanks with what made sense.
I died.
I could feel it.
I could see it.
My eyes loosing all life in them in the split second before it all went black.
One of my eyes was different.  There was the unmistakable glow of technology within it.  As I dreamt, I did not understand what it was, however I now know that it was the result of putting that lens in.
I woke up in a medical centre.
Through my right eye, I could just about make out that it was the surgery of humanity’s building.
There were four beings in the room with me.
Deia was right next to me, whilst Vernon, Julie and Owen were looking at screens and arranging surgical tools at various points around the room.
I moved my head, expecting a wave of pain that never arrived.
In fact, were it not for the fact that I could not feel the top left part of my face, I would have thought that there was nothing out of the ordinary.
I sat up, noting that even the energy circulating within me was unchanged.
“Laura!” Julie exclaimed as she turned to face me, her face a painting of concern.  She came forwards and hugged me with all of her might.
I patted her back, “I’m okay, I feel okay anyway.”  I pulled myself out of her embrace and gestured to my eye, “I’m assuming this is not as okay as the rest of me?”
They all looked at each other, Vernon being the one who eventually stepped forwards.
“Laura,” was the first word he had spoken to me since the night before I had woken up in terror, “your eye is…” he shook his head, and I felt the tears well up within me.
“It’s useless, isn’t it?” I spoke through clenched teeth, my mind struggling to embrace the reality of what I already knew to be true.
He nodded, “the lens overheated.  It was designed for an alive to use, they have a strong tolerance to high temperatures.  This was a fact that Desmosa did not know, so she did not realize that it would need to be taken into consideration.  It became fused to your eyeball, and the heat seared your lids together.  We’ve managed to separate them, but the eye itself is beyond repair.”
Liquid leaked out from my good eye, trickling its way down my cheek, it was a wonder that I still had any tears left to cry at all.  I could feel a slight pressure begin to build behind the numbness of my left eye as they tried to find a way through the damaged tissue.
“What are my options?” I asked, breathing deeply and squashing the feeling of hopelessness back down to where I had been storing it, “do I have any options, other than a pirate patch.”  My stab at humour came out so dry that it sounded as though I was being serious.  In all fairness, if my only option was to wear an eye patch, I would make sure that I owned it.
My expectation was something along the lines of a prosthetic eye, hopefully, with technology as advanced as it was, it would even look in the same direction as my living eye.
I said as much out loud, to which Deia replied, “actually, the organization who have been funding Desmosa’s tuition have offered to cover the cost of a fully functional synthetic replacement.”
Everything went dry; my eye, my mouth, my thoughts.
“They want to give me a new eyeball?”
Deia smiled, the oddity was not lost upon her, “there is a facility within their building that creates body parts, for reasons such as this.  Or, I should say that it teaches students, but the technology is the same, it simply requires a sample of DNA and a blueprint and they can create the part required.  Vernon will be the one to do the procedure.  He’ll be helped by Owen and Julie as they have all far surpassed the requirements for such a procedure.”
“That,” my voice caught in my throat, “that seems a little too good to be true.  The ‘them offering it to me’ part I mean.”
“It is common practice to offer to replace something that has been damaged, is it not the same for humans?”
Owen gave a short snort, “we’re very greedy, most people won’t give away something unless they absolutely have to.  And even then, they’ll bitch and moan about it.”
“Really?” my doctor looked appalled, “are humans really so selfish?”
Julie nodded earnestly, “very much so, there used to be an entire industry that was devoted to claiming compensation against those who had done you wrong, even if you were the one at fault.”
“But,” I hastened to speak out, “most of the people that I know, that I knew, were generous at heart, the sorts of people who would help someone else before themselves.  I would like to emphasize that not everyone is that good, but hopefully it will be enough to steer the more selfish ones in a better direction, in the long run.”
“We can only hope,” Vernon’s voice was sounding tired, “we should allow this experience to act as an example to them.”  He directed his attention towards me and took a gentler tone, “you should accept what they’re offering Laura, how helpful do you think your ability will be without a decent depth perception.”
My drive to devote myself to the aid of humanity was well known and, from what I could tell, it was supported.  At least enough that there were rumours that I might one day redeem myself enough to one day be treated as myself once more.
That is not really what I was aiming for, however people will think what they want to think, regardless of the facts.
I half squinted my eye at Vernon, “you want me to be a guinea pig, don’t you?”
“What?  No, not at all,” he was not even trying to be convincing, “well maybe a little, but you know that I wouldn’t even suggest going through with it unless it would benefit more than just my petty reasons.”
My face pulled itself into an involuntary smile that made the sleeping parts of my face tingle.  I had always had an unfortunately high tolerance to local anesthetics as the regular dip under the dentists lights taught me, in the most unpleasant way.  It turned out that whatever was being used to keep my nerves subdued was wearing off at the same rate that the old stuff did.
“Vernon,” I spoke with certainty, “I am more than willing, but can I get some more of whatever’s numbing this,” I pointed at my eye, “it’s getting tingly.”
“That shouldn’t be happening so fast,” Owen’s seven years of being a paramedic had given him a fairly good grasp of local anesthetic, “have you had it wear off that fast before?”
I explained to him how I would always need at least two injections whilst at the dentists and how the local anesthetic use for a toe nail removal had worn off after two hours when I was promised at least four.
A round of nods went around the room before Deia addressed me.
“The optical aid is not the only thing being offered.  The Foresight Bureau have given us this.”  A vial of pale blue liquid drifted off of a nearby counter and landed in my hands. 
I lifted it to the light, there was movement within it that was not merely from the container moving, “what is it?  Nanobots?”
She nodded, “these are the most advanced medical nanobots that exist.  They can block nerves to stop pain, regrow and repair damaged tissue in a matter of minutes, illuminate infections and can keep a body from dying for up to fifteen lals before it expires, allowing for a higher chance of survival.”
My eye darted frantically from one person to another, “that’s insane, how is any of that possible?”
“To put it as simply as I can,” she said, “they are powered by the kinetic energy that is produced by your heart beat, as long as it beats, they can survive.  If it stops beating they carry enough charge to keep working for that extra time.  When they first enter your system they store a small number of your cells which they use if they need to repair anything.”
“Would that not make a person immortal?” I did not want to use myself as an example, to say that I was undeserving of such a thing would have been an understatement.
“Not at all,” Deia seemed to be getting a little frustrated at the way that I was avoiding giving an answer and making her have to explain, “they can only repair up to so much damage, the repair that they do is considered strictly temporary until you can be treated.  The tissue that they use comes straight from you, therefore as you age, so will the cells that they are using to repair you with.”
Her tone was getting rather exasperated, so rather than actually giving her an answer, I stalled for time to think by trying to explain why I was hesitating.
“Fair enough,” I tried to make my voice as sincere as possible with a twinge of worry, “it’s just that, I’ve recently not had the best luck with advanced tech,” again I motioned to my eye, “I just want to be sure that I’m not going to get hurt again.”
“That was a mistake that happened due to carelessness,” She retorted, “this is precise and calculated.”
I paused, not sure whether I wanted to reveal my true feelings.  In my experience, my personal feelings always somehow managed to offend or confuse others when I spoke about them.  I could never tell how my words would be perceived by the person, so I wound up truly opening up to very few people.
Sat there on that slightly cushioned operating table, breathing in the intensely hygienic air that circulated throughout the room, I was simply too tired to hide myself from them.
“I don’t deserve it.”
From the expressions upon the faces of each of the humans in the room, I could see that nobody disagreed with me.
“I don’t understand,” Deia’s voice was cautious.
I tried to think of the correct way to convey what I meant, however my mind was doing its usual ‘hide-and-seek’ routine with the specific words that I needed, so I just said what I could.
“It’s not fair.  To anyone here, to anyone on Virrion or Rapture.  To anyone who I never met or can’t remember.  Since the world ended, so many ridiculously great things have happened.  I hadn’t lost anyone close to me, my one-sided love turned out to be reciprocated, I got the ability to move things with my mind and really feel how others are feeling, I was given a chip that lets me control technology without tools, I’m about to receive an advanced piece of technology to save my sight, I have seen the future…” I faltered, the very reason I needed a new eye, forgotten until that moment, “and now I’m offered the ability to heal when others can’t?  It’s too much, it’s not fair and ultimately, it won’t be enough.”
“What do you mean?” Vernon’s voice was on a scary level of calm.
I looked straight at him, “I’m gonna die.”. My voice was so matter of fact that the others simply looked stunned.  “Well,” I hastened to continue, “I am just more than eighty-seven percent sure that I am going to die, and pretty much everybody’s going to be there to see it happen.”
Julie’s head was slowly shaking from side to side, “Laura…”  Her voice came out a whisper.
I pursed my lips together into that ‘it’s true’ kind of smile, “I don’t know where it’ll happen, or when, or why, but… yeah.”
The room was silent.
Ever since I had started to learn how to control the energy within me, I had been ignoring my own despair.  I had not let it in and had no plans on doing so, no matter what I was to face.  I knew that I was stronger than that.
Discovering that I was going to die, was not really registering as surprising or devastating to me.  I had never shaken the feeling that I was existing on borrowed time that I had no right to.  Whatever the circumstances were to be surrounding my demise, it seemed that I was protecting the people that I cared about, which is a much more worthy way to go than most.
I took a deep breath, ignoring the rapidly growing twitch just under my left eye, “my point was, that there is no point in my inducting these guys into my system, could I just have some pain killers please, before this actually wakes up.”
“Twelve percent.”
I looked over to where Owen was leaning against an industrial sink.  I could barely make out his eyes.  My single eye was beginning to strain and my focus was beginning to blur.  I had an astigmatism in each eye and I was very long overdue for an eye check, my prescription was likely not as strong as it had needed to be for many months before we had even left the Earth.  From my perspective, Owen’s eyes had disappeared into dark smudged circles.
His voice was angry.
“Twelve percent is more than several billion people had.  It’s more than the people that you say have died since we got here.  Are you really going to waste the chances you’re being given just because it’s not fair?  That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.  You owe it to everyone to make yourself the best you can be so that you can keep your pledge to help everyone that’s left!  Or was that just as half-arsed attempt to redeem yourself so that you could feel like you're not the reason so many people are dead?”
His anger and frustration swirled within my chest, I had to fight to keep it separate from the shame that was pulling my heart into the pit of my stomach.  I pushed some of it out, levitating the vial up and down over the palm of my hand.
I could not respond.
“I can pretty much guarantee that part of that twelve percent comes from you not taking the nanobots and dying sooner!”  He slammed the palm of his hand onto the sink before pushing himself forwards and storming out of the door.
As it swung I could see a few bodies loitering just outside.  The door swung close before I could see who they were or their reactions to Owen’s dramatic exit.
Julie refused to allow silence to consume us again, “you know he’s right.”  Her voice was gentle and patient, “the only thing you’re being is stubborn.”  She took the vial from where it hovered in front of my face and attached it to the device that would inject it into my skin.
In doing so, she had pierced a seal.  In thinking that she had just made the decision for me, she extended her arm, “give me your hand.”
She was right.
I was being stubborn.
I snatched the device from her hand, using the energy that had been holding the vial up and turned the needle towards her.
“Laura…” she backed away as I moved it towards her.
In all honesty, I would not have used it on her.  I know next to nothing about human physiology, least of all which vein you should introduce nanobots into a person’s system and I would never have risked hurting her.
I just wanted them to stop pressuring me.
In that moment, I was not in any kind of control of myself.
My senses flooded back in so suddenly that I almost dropped it.
I swung it away from her and towards myself, grabbing at it with my right hand and missing completely because my sense of depth was gone.  I tried again, guiding it to my hand with a bit more delicacy and holding it gently lest I drop it.
“This should go to someone who actually actively helps save lives and will definitely help people.”  I knew that my argument was falling upon the ears of people who had already settled on their opinions, yet I could not just give in.
An idea occurred to me, it was a long shot considering how valuable the nanobots supposedly were, however I deemed it worth a shot.
“Okay,” I offered the device back to Julie, “I will accept them.  On one condition.”
“Tell me what it is you want and I’ll see what I can do,” Deia was the one who liaised with the Foresight Bureau and was the one they had approached with the offer of compensation.
“I want enough for all of the humans here.”
A few eyebrows were raised, however no one spoke, so I continued, “each person here is instrumental in shaping the future of our species.  If any of them were to get sick or injured before they either complete their work or pass on their knowledge then we’re all screwed.  These people not only deserve these medical enhancements, but they will be able to guide and help humanity so much more effectively as a result.”
Deia, who had been watching me carefully, looked away, letting her eyes flit back and forth as if considering what the alive’s response might be, as well as whether or not she believed that I would genuinely refuse if my request was denied.
I could not honestly tell whether or not I was bluffing, however my poker face had been forged through many years and trying times and I was not going to let it slip that I was actually just making it up as I went along, hoping for the best outcome for everyone.
At length, Deia spoke, “I don’t think that the Bureau will agree to so many,” her words were slow and thoughtful, “however I may be able to convince the local administration to assist with the funding due to the unusual circumstances.  Give me a few lals.”  She excused herself and slid off to a secluded corner of the room where I could hear her having a quiet conversation, likely using her own nanobots to communicate with someone.
I apologized to Julie for threatening her with the needle.  Instead of telling her that I had unconsciously slipped into her emotions, which were bent on getting the contents into my system, I explained that I never would have used it, I was just getting frustrated with everyone trying to force the things upon me.  Telling her that I had lost control for a few moments probably would not have gone down well.
“I get why you feel like you don’t deserve it,” she responded, “but you really scared me.  Don’t you think we’ve been through enough?  I don’t know how to react to being threatened by one of my best friends.”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, it’ll never happen again.”
“I know it won’t,” she declared, before taking the device from my hand, none to gently.
Deia reappeared in the following silence, which she chose to diplomatically ignore, “they’ve agreed.”

Other than the twitch in my left eye subsiding, no noticeable change happened after the nanobots were injected into a vein on the back of my left hand.
In the following auxe, an alive from the Foresight Bureau, whose name I don’t think I was even told, arrived, took a scan of my eye using some sort of 3d imaging capture device, took the scans and a blood sample back to her facility and came back with my new eye ball.
I was asked to choose the colour for my new iris.  As a child, I had deep blue eyes, however I was unsurprised to discover that any noticeable blue had long since left my tired eyes, leaving behind a dark grey that gave the impression that there might be blue buried beneath.  The grey that I chose was tinged with such dark blue that it was barely discernable from the grey, however it did make the thin, florescent blue veins stand out a little less.
My poor dead eyeball had already been cleaned out of the socket which meant that the new one simply needed to be inserted.  Instead of being attached to anything inside, it was programmed to send the signal, WiFi style, into my brain.
With the technology that was included in my new optical aid, the left-hand lens of my glasses was replaced with a single sheet of monitor screen.  To put simply, I can use it as a console screen.
I feel less and less like a human being with each unit that passes.
Telekinesis, empathic receptors, highly advanced vision, interactive technology and I can self heal, not to mention that I have seen a way that I am likely to die. 
I barely recognize myself in the mirror.  My eye has a barely noticeable glow where, if you look closely enough, you can see the shapes of the foreign technology within it.  There is no scaring, however there are no eye lashes either.  I have about three inches of undyed, paint-water blonde hair pushing the golden auburn further down my shoulders.  The roundness of my face has thinned away, accentuating my pointy chin and highlighting the puffiness around my eyes.  My training mixed with the lack of appetite, that was induced by stress, has caused some generous weight loss which, along with the physical training, has brought me to what I suspect is somewhere between a size ten and twelve, and thanks to a serum that Deia gave me, my skin has become firmer all over.  Unfortunately, said serum did not rid me of any of the stretch marks that I had been collecting since I was in my early teens.  It has also left my multitude of blemishes and scars in tact, although it has been a long while since I have even had a spot let alone and infected cut.  I am hopeful that I will not accumulate many more.
If I had to use one word to describe how I perceive myself to look, it would be alien.
I feel like I aught to be called a neo-human or freak or some other generic word that expresses that I am different yet making the negative name mean something different.  Such a name would make a statement, it would make me more noticeable, when all I really want is to disappear.
I think I shall simply be Laura.